A much-needed update

Almost a month since my last post? Yikes, I've been a bad, bad blogger, and I'm sorry. Greg and I have had a very busy June on the job, social, baseball and wedding planning fronts! I'll expand on those later as I get pictures uploaded and posts brainstormed.

 We are le tired.

(Photo by Greg's brother, Grant)

But I can't leave you hanging just like that, so I will say that regarding all things wedding: (1) We set a date for next June, (2) we put money down on a venue, and (3) we decided on a photographer!

A very big clue for No. 2 can be found here (video — clean version, of course) or here (if you prefer to read).

As for No. 3, we're heading out soon to hang out in San Diego, catch a Dodgers game in L.A. — and meet with our fab photographer. :) Squee!

Despite having three big details decided, there's much more in store for this wedding bonanza...

Wedding venue hunt: A wild fantasy

After focusing too much on gorgeous outdoor space, I became entranced by something I can only describe as a fantasy. Looking back, there was a whimsical quality to it, but it was all just too "me."  It'd be perfect if I were marrying myself, but I'm not, and Greg wasn't thrilled with it. To his credit, he entertained the idea until my parents checked it out and I was ready to pull out my checkbook.

I wanted to have the wedding at the San Francisco Zoo. Check out this photo and tell me that's not magical:

A gorgeous carousel shot by Lilia Photography, another SF wedding photography crush!
(source)

I used to ride on that carousel all the time when my grandparents would take me and my brother during the summer, aww! I am also a big animal lover and a kid at heart, so I melted when I found a very special real wedding profiled on Offbeat Bride. Karen and PJ went with the zoo, and the childlike joy of it all awed me. Candy bouquets, more carousel action and ROCK BAND!

Rock out with your ring out!

(click and scroll for a slideshow — source)

And my "everything in one place" requirement would have been met, too. The reception hall is plenty big and has nice high ceilings with a lodge vibe.

I love the exposed wood beams!

(source)

You could even use the African Savanna as a ceremony site! Reminds me of "The Lion King.'' :)

My animal friends!

(source)

My parents, brother and future sister-in-law took a site tour. I got proposals from the in-house caterer. It would have been within the budget. But...

When push came to shove, I knew it wasn't our place because Greg wasn't feeling the same magic I was. I guess I still long for the world to be a big Disney movie, where townspeople break out into well-written songs and animal friends can solve your problems.

The San Francisco Zoo really is a special place to feel like a kid again, but for our special day I suppose I'll stop letting my 5-year-old self take over. :)

Wedding venue hunt: The great outdoors

This month, I took advantage of a great airfare deal (thanks Airtran sale e-mails!) to fly to San Francisco and get the venue party started. (And we've almost decided, wee!)

Knowing that trip would be the only one maybe until the holidays, I knew I'd have to get picky with visits, so I researched for months with our vision in mind. Here's the fruit of my many hours of labor...

San Francisco has no shortage of outdoor space, thanks to Golden Gate Park, which played a big role in my childhood. My brother and I would ride bikes and rollerblade with my parents on Sundays; the city has blocked off some streets to cars for more than 40 years (and has even expanded to Saturdays!). We'd also often feed the ducks and take long walks around Stow and Spreckles lakes with our grandparents. So the park gets major brownie points in the "meaningfulness" department.

The city offers various sites for ceremonies, such as the Shakespeare Garden pictured below, for great rental prices, and I like that our money would be going toward urban parks, something I definitely support. From what the city's PDF says, it'd be a budget-friendly choice, too.

(source)

However, this conflicts with having the ceremony and reception at the same place. Not only does that cut down on inconveniencing guests (especially out-of-towners who would have to rent cars), it's better for the environment (less driving) and keeps the celebration from lulling!

Another obvious choice for the Bay Area would be wineries. While the famed Napa Wine Country would be amazing, I'd nixed that area early on since it'd require a ton of driving and a hefty chunk of my change. A cool alternative presented itself in Casa Real, an event center with an indoor ballroom and gorgeous outdoor courtyard at the Ruby Hill Winery in Pleasanton out in the East Bay.

(source - see more of the venue in the slideshow, done by Choco Studio, one of my SF photography crushes)

Despite it having a huge "pretty factor" with its elegant-yet-rustic Mediterranean look, the minimum they quoted me for a Saturday wedding was too high, driving would again be an issue and Greg and I aren't emotionally attached to the whole wine thing.

While these ideas didn't fit our needs, they are great venues and have beautiful outdoor space. But I'd put too much emphasis on the outdoor aspect and was falling behind in other areas. I had to refine my search more and decide what things we could compromise on.

Am I crazy for counting out these fab outdoor sites? Or would guests' commuting be too much of a hassle, especially in Bay Area traffic?

Sharon's San Francisco trip

Sharon is wrapping up a 5-day trip to San Francisco to scout out a pair of venues and accomplish other wedding-planning chores. Stay tuned!

Meanwhile, I've been holding down the fort in D.C.

Counterpoint: Invest in guests (and chairs!)

Greg just argued that the type of chairs a wedding has shouldn't matter to the couple. While I agree that overly minute details shouldn't be stressed over, I find that making guests feel special is a must. You already feel awesome because it's one of the happiest days of your life.

First off, being a guest can be hard work. In our case, we'll have a good chunk of out-of-town guests who have to coordinate getting time off work, paying for a flight and hotel, and navigating around a new city. Though some may scoff at this notion ("oh, it's no trouble," "we love you and we'll be there no matter what"), there is a tendency to "make it worth their while" with the couple still having a fun (and not budget-breaking!) time. For many couples, a holiday weekend wedding seems awesome because the time off is already built in, but for guests who may already have plans, it could be more like:

P.S. We don't plan on doing this.

(source)

Secondly, most of the time it boils down to balancing practicality with pretty. Sure, you can have the finest silk for your tablecloths and napkins, but most guests won't care; I agree with Greg on this. But I have different reasoning: Yes, colored linens add to the pretty factor and can dress up a table, but guests' interaction with linens is minimal. They're supposed to get dirty; it's not like you're taking one home as a souvenir.

That could also be said for a chair, but think about all that a guest has to sit through: dinner, toasts, cake, breaks from dancing. And if you're anything like me, when you want to sit, you want to be comfortable. And there's no denying that sometimes a plastic chair just doesn't feel right:

(source and source)

And as for the pretty factor, fancier chairs could save money by adding a stylish touch. Below, the top pic features ho-hum folding chairs dressed up with chair covers and sashes. The other photo is of the coveted chivari chairs. Sure, each chair costs more, but unless the venue includes the extra linens for the first ones, those could take a chunk of your budget, too.

(source for both)

So enough about chairs: My point is that guests matter a lot, and you want things to be functional and pretty for them — and therefore yourself because you'll be at the party, too! :) When looking at my budget, I'll put the group (venue, food, drinks, music, decor - to some extent, etc.) before things that only affect me (dress, primping, etc.).

Have any tips for negotiating being practical and pretty for a wedding? Where would you cut back?

Point: Chairs are important (so I'm told)

I am learning all about chivari chairs, thanks to Sharon. Apparently, chairs are a big deal. One venue Web site we're looking at (a secret for now!) has a three-sentence description, and somehow the type of chairs warrants a mention.

I mostly agree with some of the post titles linked at Weddingbee, such as "Could I Be Obsessing Over Anything Sillier?" and "Stupid Things I Think About." The former talks about how rentals of chivaris will up her chair budget from $200 to $1,000.

I wonder if brides place more importance (and therefore spend more money) on certain elements than they need to. Sure, they want quality everything, but at an otherwise beautiful ceremony, will people remember the chairs, tablecloths, and napkins? Maybe it's best to skimp on these items and spend more on the venue itself.

A counterpoint from Sharon is forthcoming.

A very preliminary vision for The Big Day

Though Greg and I don't have anything set in stone yet, I've been toying with many ideas for the basics. I thought I'd be one of those "I've had everything planned since I was little" gals, but after seeing one of my favorite movies, I realize my tastes have definitely changed. While Greg posted early on about a couple of things, here's what we're really planning on.

WHEN:
We're shooting for the late spring/early summer of 2011. Greg should be done with his master's in December of this year, and we want to leave open the possibility of him continuing on for his Ph.D. Though California weather is ideal for late summer/fall weddings, starting his next round of school in fall 2011 is the most realistic schedule, so there you go. And the weather is an important aspect because...

WHERE:
... One thing that hasn't faltered since my childhood vision is that I'd get married outside. Greg and I are not tied down to the idea of a church wedding, and we love the open, organic feel of being outside. Though San Diego beaches make for beautiful events, we've decided on my hometown of San Francisco, mainly for logistical purposes (my family about doubles Greg's). The requirements are that it must have outdoor (ceremony) and indoor (reception) space, be somehow meaningful to me and Greg, show something cool about San Francisco and, most of all, not break the bank. I'll be posting shortly on options we're looking at, and feel free to comment or contact me with any places you think would fit the bill!

COLORS:

Red is symbolic of joy in Chinese culture, and it helps that it's our favorite color. The only wedding I've been in (flower girl, hehe) had red as a primary color, and my first taste of "grown-up" dress shopping (for junior prom) ended in picking a red gown from David's Bridal. For a neutral, I'm thinking a nice gray instead of black to give things more of a light-hearted feel.

Claret and Pebble Beach from the Pantone Wedding line. (source)

FEEL:

I am the kind of person who'd rather have a smaller amount of super-close friends than lots of semi-close ones. I should be able to have personal conversations with everyone who attends the wedding and know deep down that the celebration wouldn't have been the same without them. Though I understand how others like having big weddings with lots of generations of family members, business contacts and the like, we just want everything to be super personal, where people can be relaxed around each other and be ready to mingle and party! (Yes, the fun factor is also a big deal. Entertainment ideas are in the works...)

What do you think of our very early outline? Any suggestions to share?